I’m “mama” Patrizia, and I’m happy to share with you my “resurrection.” I come from a simple and humble family, but it was also a family tainted by a lot of suffering and sickness. These situations made me grow up with many fears and insecurities. Since I was a young child I was very timid, and I always lived with the fear of being rejected and, above all, not being loved. I remember that I always isolated myself and lived a lot of inferiority, always dragging myself along. In the end, the others always decided for me. As I grew up, I rebelled and desired to feel bigger than I was. Thus I began to follow my more transgressive “friends.” There was something inside myself that wanted to follow the good, but the fascination of the bad was stronger. When I was sixteen I met a boy, and I fell in love. I felt big and secure; but I didn’t realize that it was only a feeling—and I got pregnant. I never thought about not wanting my son, but I did fell that it was a large responsibility that in some moments scared me. After a year of being married, I discovered that my husband was on drugs. I didn’t know what to do, and I felt helpless in everything. I had to fight; but, at the same time, I was full of fear. Thus I began to seek refuge in pills and alcohol. We became separated, and I went to live with my parents. To get rid of my problems, I began to live carefree, putting aside my responsibility regarding my son Alessandro. My whole world came falling down on me when I discovered that Alessandro was on drugs. It was hard to accept this blow. When I think about it, I don’t know how I stayed “on my feet” because I didn’t have any faith. But God took care of us; and, speaking with a dear friend, I met the Community. Finally, after several months, my son entered. But the Madonna also thought of my conversion; I decided to enter because I realized that I needed it. In the beginning it was not easy to see my failures and my poverties. I had to fight with my pride and admit that I needed help. Going in the chapel everyday to “speak” with Jesus and sharing with the girls what I was living helped me to see the light and beauty of life again. They understood me, were patient, and accepted me how I was; thus I also began to accept myself more, to love myself. After some time I felt re-born and loved. I grew in faith throughout the years, understanding that I had to trust in God. The biggest test was when Alessandro exited and fell again; inside myself I saw everything crumble once again; however, thanks to the faith that I cultivated and the help of the Community, I found strength and hope. Jesus won because, thanks to Him, Alessandro re-entered the Community and is happy and okay. I strongly felt that the love I had received was meant to be given to others; thus, after being re-constructed as a woman and re-discovered as a mother, I left for the missions. For several years now I live in the missions in Peru—today the children are my joy. Everyday I learn from them what love is; I always grow in patience and mercy, and living in daily simplicity fills my heart. I thank God and the Madonna for all the sacrifices that my parents made for me; I am thankful for being a part of this “big family” that has saved me and Alessandro, and because today I feel like a resurrected woman.
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