FromĒBeyond AIDSĒ Nicolaís diary
January 30 1996 (pg 21)
As for arrogance,I havenít prayed much for humility lately, which I care very much.I took this gift from grantedÖ.so I stopped and waited.But now I understand that God gives me the liberty to conquer it helping me to see my mistakes and my arrogance.Listening to Don Rininoís homily today I was struck by a sentence :God loves like a father.I Thought about it.
As you know,I missed my fatherís love very much but Iím sure that it was necessary for my walk. This created such a void inside me to compel me to look for the greatest of all fathers:God.
I think about all the children who suffer from not having their parentsílove and I ask our Father to take care of them, to let them feel His love,as he is doing with me.
May 13 1996 (pg.80)
Resurrection comes after the cross.
When the moment comes I wonít have to waver:Iíll need the faith and hope of all of you.
Iím thinking about this and Iím sure that God ,thanks to His immense imagination, has decided such a thing to show us his power and only silly people donít realize it!
Iím ready to accept all that he has decided for me.
He knows my wishes but His plans might be different.
It will be ok for me because God comes before my life and my wishes and I love Him more than myself.
I trust Him and what He has prepared for me.
Father you know my wishes but may Your will be fulfilled not mine!